sea salt

Last week our marriage certificate finally arrived, which means that I could begin the process of legally changing my name.  To me, the issue of whether or not a woman takes her husband's name is far too interesting to far too many people, and I have found myself annoyed at the explanations, considerations, and opinions of people who feel very strongly one way or another. I honestly never cared much, but the final decision was to take my husband's name legally while continuing to write, submit and (hopefully) publish under my given name, the name I've been for 27 years, the name that I have spelled out infinite times because it is how the world recognizes me: Dianna Calareso.  On the way to the office I called my sister and complained.  I didn't want to fill out forms, didn't want to change my written identity as if I am no longer the same person, didn't want to wait in line at the mercy of federal employees.  Of course, I am thrilled to be married to a p...

I spoke with a woman who wants my help as she begins writing short stories. "I've never written a story before, never in my life!  I'm a songwriter, but I've never written anything else before." "Look," I said, "in order for anyone to do anything, you have to have never done it before." She didn't respond, so I took a different approach.  "Before you wrote your first song, you'd never written a song before, right?  At one time, Johnny Cash had never written a song before, and then he became Johnny Cash." "Yes, that makes sense..."  My limited knowledge of the language of music helped us get one step closer together.  I speak writing and she speaks music, but somehow we had to communicate if we were going to successfully work together to create something new.  I asked her what she had written so far. "I have the idea for the beginning and the end, but nothing in between.  I don't know what ya...

( Photo courtesy of lenayoga.com)  (published in Her Nashville) While I am in half moon pose, my DVD yoga instructor says, "Notice how even the slightest movement, even breath, affects the balance." I am balanced on my left leg, my left arm on the ground in front of me; my right leg and right arm are in the air. If I look up, my balance is shaky, and I must look down to steady myself. If I lean to the left and start to wobble, I pull my weight to the right to even things out. When I first began practicing yoga a month ago, I was convinced it was all about learning to achieve perfect balance - in my mind, you were either completely still, breathing calmly, or you were in a heap on the floor. Anyone who practices yoga knows this is not the case, and now I do, too. The goal of the poses is not only to learn balance, but to learn what balance is. True balance, in my experience, is not standing statue-still. It starts out a little shaky, a little tiring, and a little...

We arrived in Nashville a week ago. This time it was a one-way flight, a permanent move, a plan to stay. He has been living here, and now I live here, and so we will live here. Here is where we are. The list of things to do grows every day. I am used to changing my address (I had four addresses in the five years I lived in Massachusetts), but this is a new geographical identity. The first order of business is the car that brought me here. Beyond the obvious changes (Tennessee license plate, Tennessee license, local car insurance), there are the minor adjustments: remove at least one ice scraper from the trunk, store the shovel, snow brush, and insulated gloves, and peel off the parking stickers that have become a part of my peripheral vision while driving. Like all major cities, Boston and its surrounding neighborhoods have limited space for parking. People move to the cities faster than the cities can create more space, so the solution is to zone off streets for resident park...