leaning.
In five months, we've made some good friends who have helped us out with everything from airport pick ups to recommending a good car mechanic. We've appreciated these people all along the way, but didn't realize how much we needed them until this week - house week.
It's been a little over 1 week since we moved into the new house, and in that week we added to this extremely important group of people...people to call in a crisis.*
I. Moving
In the city, moving is like going out to the movies - you know who to call, you know who will most likely be interested, and you know who has their own car. Kevin and I each had our Boston regulars, people we always called to help us move apartments (usually in and out of 3rd floor walk-ups), for the small price of pizza after the move. We had the friend with the truck, the friend who could lift a dresser by himself, the friend who was great at organizing boxes in the back of a car. When we moved into our apartment in Nashville, we had come down with Kevin's father and brother - they were incredibly helpful, but after the move, they went back home to Tampa and Boston.
And then we bought a house. And I went to send my customary "It's moving time!" email. But...who of the people in our little world here would help us move? Who considered us close enough friends to give up a Tuesday evening loading and unloading a U-Haul? Who actually enjoyed the physical aspect of carrying furniture, and would willingly lend a hand? We came up with tentative lists, but it was hard to know for sure.
Kevin posted something on Facebook. People replied! And then a few people offered, simply because they knew we were moving, not because they had seen the Facebook message. And on moving day, two more people showed up. In the end, there were 7 of us:
II. Cats
Whether they own cats, dogs, or chinchillas, there is one thing all pet owners have in common: anxiety about leaving the pets home alone. Of course, we know they're fine. And of course, we know that some pets probably enjoy a little down time without the humans making fun of them (ok, yes, we do that). We were fortunate to have friends early on who had pets and lived nearby, and they were wonderful about stopping in when we were gone. But now, in a new neighborhood, too far to reasonably ask our previous helpers, what would we do? We went to Florida only 3 days after moving in, for a weekend visit with my family. A weekend trip usually doesn't require pet-sitters for cats - a little extra food and water, and a clean litter box.
But without even asking, we had help. Travis and Jessi, who have the most adorable and giant dogs (Great Dane and St. Bernard), heard that we were leaving town and asked, "What about your cats?" When I said that we would just leave them with some extra food, Jessi replied, "I'll go over Saturday night."
As a pet owner, she also understood that it's more than filling the food bowl and leaving. They went over together, spent a little time with the cats, and sent us a text message after to say that the kitties were fine (they even brought in our mail, which we hadn't even mentioned). It was nice to know that there were people who "get it." They wanted to help because they know what it's like to worry about the care of your pets while you're gone. And now, thanks to their help, we don't have to worry.
III. Hygiene
While we had been diligent in setting up the necessary accounts and services, we hit some snags in our first week in the new home:
Service companies love to give an 8 hour window of time, with 30 minutes' notice. However, when they shut it off, there's no notice. So in the netherworld of waiting for things to be re-connected, we had no laundry, no hot water for dishes and showering, and no heat in the house during a surprisingly chilly week.
We stuck it out as long as we could with cold splash showers and last resort clothes, but after a few days we'd had enough. Kevin had band practice last night at Travis' house, so we both went over with our laundry, shower stuff, and a change of clothes. We thanked Travis and Jessi profusely, and when Kevin went upstairs to practice, I put in two loads of laundry, did yoga with Jessi, and took a long, hot shower. Travis came downstairs to look for something and I thanked him again. He laughed and said, "It's not a problem...I was actually really happy that Kevin asked."
That's when it really hit me. Sure, I know it's not a big deal to let someone use the shower, or stop in to feed the cat, or lift a few boxes into a truck. But there's a big difference between someone who's willing to help and someone who wants to help. I realized that we'd found more than just people we like with similar interests. In five months, we hadn't just found friends - we'd found friends to lean on. And soon they'll know that they can lean on us, too.
____________________________
*It should be noted that there are some awesome friends who helped us out in the apartment days, and we are just as grateful for their help: Nathaniel, Laura, Ashley, Blake, Tiffany, Andy, Brian. A blog entry about every time one of these people helped us out in the last five months would be 20,000 words long. In short, THANK YOU!
It's been a little over 1 week since we moved into the new house, and in that week we added to this extremely important group of people...people to call in a crisis.*
I. Moving
In the city, moving is like going out to the movies - you know who to call, you know who will most likely be interested, and you know who has their own car. Kevin and I each had our Boston regulars, people we always called to help us move apartments (usually in and out of 3rd floor walk-ups), for the small price of pizza after the move. We had the friend with the truck, the friend who could lift a dresser by himself, the friend who was great at organizing boxes in the back of a car. When we moved into our apartment in Nashville, we had come down with Kevin's father and brother - they were incredibly helpful, but after the move, they went back home to Tampa and Boston.
And then we bought a house. And I went to send my customary "It's moving time!" email. But...who of the people in our little world here would help us move? Who considered us close enough friends to give up a Tuesday evening loading and unloading a U-Haul? Who actually enjoyed the physical aspect of carrying furniture, and would willingly lend a hand? We came up with tentative lists, but it was hard to know for sure.
Kevin posted something on Facebook. People replied! And then a few people offered, simply because they knew we were moving, not because they had seen the Facebook message. And on moving day, two more people showed up. In the end, there were 7 of us:
- Kevin
- me
- Travis, guitar player/singer/creator of Kevin's band, Travis Egnor and the Mighty Oaks
- Travis' wife, Jessi
- Paul, keyboard player from Kevin's band
- Caitlin, Kevin's Vandy friend
- Andrew, my coworker/friend, and husband of my new wonderful writing friend Kristen
II. Cats
Whether they own cats, dogs, or chinchillas, there is one thing all pet owners have in common: anxiety about leaving the pets home alone. Of course, we know they're fine. And of course, we know that some pets probably enjoy a little down time without the humans making fun of them (ok, yes, we do that). We were fortunate to have friends early on who had pets and lived nearby, and they were wonderful about stopping in when we were gone. But now, in a new neighborhood, too far to reasonably ask our previous helpers, what would we do? We went to Florida only 3 days after moving in, for a weekend visit with my family. A weekend trip usually doesn't require pet-sitters for cats - a little extra food and water, and a clean litter box.
But without even asking, we had help. Travis and Jessi, who have the most adorable and giant dogs (Great Dane and St. Bernard), heard that we were leaving town and asked, "What about your cats?" When I said that we would just leave them with some extra food, Jessi replied, "I'll go over Saturday night."
As a pet owner, she also understood that it's more than filling the food bowl and leaving. They went over together, spent a little time with the cats, and sent us a text message after to say that the kitties were fine (they even brought in our mail, which we hadn't even mentioned). It was nice to know that there were people who "get it." They wanted to help because they know what it's like to worry about the care of your pets while you're gone. And now, thanks to their help, we don't have to worry.
III. Hygiene
While we had been diligent in setting up the necessary accounts and services, we hit some snags in our first week in the new home:
- Our washer and dryer wouldn't arrive until Saturday. Since we had given back our rental units the previous Monday, we were approaching two weeks with no laundry.
- Our water was turned off.
- Our gas was turned off.
Service companies love to give an 8 hour window of time, with 30 minutes' notice. However, when they shut it off, there's no notice. So in the netherworld of waiting for things to be re-connected, we had no laundry, no hot water for dishes and showering, and no heat in the house during a surprisingly chilly week.
We stuck it out as long as we could with cold splash showers and last resort clothes, but after a few days we'd had enough. Kevin had band practice last night at Travis' house, so we both went over with our laundry, shower stuff, and a change of clothes. We thanked Travis and Jessi profusely, and when Kevin went upstairs to practice, I put in two loads of laundry, did yoga with Jessi, and took a long, hot shower. Travis came downstairs to look for something and I thanked him again. He laughed and said, "It's not a problem...I was actually really happy that Kevin asked."
That's when it really hit me. Sure, I know it's not a big deal to let someone use the shower, or stop in to feed the cat, or lift a few boxes into a truck. But there's a big difference between someone who's willing to help and someone who wants to help. I realized that we'd found more than just people we like with similar interests. In five months, we hadn't just found friends - we'd found friends to lean on. And soon they'll know that they can lean on us, too.
____________________________
*It should be noted that there are some awesome friends who helped us out in the apartment days, and we are just as grateful for their help: Nathaniel, Laura, Ashley, Blake, Tiffany, Andy, Brian. A blog entry about every time one of these people helped us out in the last five months would be 20,000 words long. In short, THANK YOU!