eulogy.
As many of you know, I've been lucky enough to have a close relationship with all of my grandparents. As some of you know, we recently lost my grandfather, a man I truly admired and loved. I've published various pieces about him before (see links to the right for "What I Think My Grandmother is Thinking," "Mt. Auburn," and "The Man I Know"), but this weekend I was honored to write a new piece, one to deliver at his memorial service.
Below is the eulogy I read at the service. I was limited to 3 minutes, but those of you who knew Grampy know that I could have spoken for days. I may later post the entire list of 101 Life Lessons mentioned in my eulogy, and I may later be able to compose a new piece to reflect on this loss. For now, my tired and grieving heart just wants to rest.
Enjoy remembering this wonderful life, and feel free to share your own memories. You are also welcome to read his obituary, an impressive testament to a life well lived.
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There are 11 of us here who didn’t actually know Steve Tavilla. He wasn’t our colleague, our brother, our father, or our husband. He was our Grampy. We knew nothing of board meetings, business meetings, or family meetings. Our memories are greasy brown paper bags filled with popcorn, messy ice cream cones at Fenway Park, singing gospel songs in the car, and sleepovers at Grammy and Grampy’s house. We remember tables full of puzzle pieces, late night card games, and jokes like, “Call me anything you want, but don’t call me late for dinner!” We remember drives to Faneuil Hall to see the P.Tavilla sign, and taking pictures with Grampy at our graduation ceremonies, at our weddings, with our first car. No matter what age I was, my memories of Grampy always show me as a child, always looking up to this impossibly loving man.
It seems strange here to speak for Grampy, as his life has spoken so well for itself. So I’ll let him speak in his own words. On Grampy’s 86th birthday, I sat down with him to record his “86 Life Lessons.” We hit 86 and kept going, with the help of Grammy, and the list ended with 101 of Grampy’s words of wisdom, humor, and love. I’ve chosen a few of my favorites to share with you.
· Never leave chocolate cake on your plate
· Don’t be stingy when you’ve had a good waitress
· If you don’t like your waitress, don’t show it - she may be having a bad day
· Life is too short to hurt people
· Treat your children and grandchildren as you would yourself
· Don’t keep track of little things that don’t count
· Keep in touch with close friends
· When your wife buys something for herself, tell her how pretty she looks in it
· Be a good loser when playing cards - it’s just a game
· Never play customer golf
· Treat your employees as you would your own sons
· Never go to sleep without saying “I love you”
· Make sure you find a good church with a good pastor or priest - throughout your life, you’ll be glad you did
And finally, the one he deemed so important that it was the first thing on the list:
· Be kind to other people
The legacy Grampy left us is more than impressive, more than a collection of fun memories. His life was an example to live by, and I know we do him great honor when we try to get it right. Love your family. Serve God. Be kind to other people. We love you, Grampy.
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